“Judge: You stand accused of treason. You stand accused of AFK’ing. How do you answer these charges…”
“AMD 178B: (…)”
“Judge: …Light Tank AMD 178B?”
“AMD 178B: Not guilty, of course! I was made with these. Besides, it’s not like I planned to get stuck on a wall. Thank your stupid physics for making this possible in the first place.”
“Audience member #1: The vehicle pronounces blasphemy!”
“Audience member #2: Shoot him with HE!”
“AMD 178B: I am a rule-obeying, slow, blind, non-gold ammo shooter. And I was stock. These accusations are baseless.”
“Audience member #3: Destroy him!”
“Audience member #4: What further proof do we need? He admitted he did not use free XP to unlock top modules.”
“AMD 178B: I’m a F2P tank. I don’t even have gold coins. Also, don’t I get a lawyer?”
*BANG* *BANG*
“Judge: Silence!
“Bailiff: Tank lawyers are only accessible with premium accounts.”
“AMD 178B: But that’s unfair and flat-out P2W…!”
“Audience member #1: The vehicle pronounces blasphemy again!”
“Audience member #5: There’s no such thing as P2W.”
“Judge: AMD 187B, what do you have to say in your defence?”
“AMD 178B: I think there should be a different way of seeing F2P tanks and P2P tanks. You have to understand… Sometimes we are poor and desperate. We shoot little gold because we have to factor in pros and cons – and that’s when we even have it. No gold coins either because we get those from Clan Wars but our pay is meagre. We survive on donations from The Dingers and sometimes we scavange missions but it’s nowhere near enough to get a premium account long enough to get back on our tracks… Well, wheels. Our only friends are SPGs.”
“Audience member #6: SPG??? He’s one of them!”
“Audience member #7: Heathen!”
“Audience member #1: The vehicle pronounces even more…!”
“Audience member #2: «Blasphemy»? Why you keep saying that? It was fun the first time, now it’s just repetitive.”
“Audience member #1: Oh, I know. It’s just… I’m tired of waiting for the Halloween Event…”
“Judge: In light of these allegations, Members of the Jury, have you come to a decision?”
“Jury: We find the defendant, AMD 178B, GUILTY! Of all charges.”
“AMD 178B: NOOOOOO…!”
“Judge: AMD 178B, I sentence you to the rest of battle in Minsk’s Minimum Security Prison.
